The False Self and the Remembered Name
January 2, 2026
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Orphan is the word Scripture uses not only for those without parents, but for those without place, protection, or personhood. It is the word God
Orphan is the word Scripture uses not only for those without parents, but for those without place, protection, or personhood. It is the word God
Holy Ground: Hard Questions from a Recovering Orphan Survival is sacred. It means you made it through what others didn’t. But grief—true grief—is something different.
About a century ago, much of the Church quietly swallowed an idolatrous idea: that the government could do a better job caring for orphans, and
No matter what mess or pain you are walking through today, I want you to hear this: the cause of that mess, the cause of
The orphan spirit isn’t just transmitted through trauma. It’s encoded in worldview. It’s not only “my father left” or “my mother never saw me.” It’s
Why Real Orphan Care Is a Sacred, Inconvenient Calling Caring for orphans has never been a clean, convenient calling. It’s complex. It’s challenging. It disrupts
Why True Compassion Works to Eliminate the Need Itself Given the choice to meet a need or end a need, I will always choose to
There is a peculiar wisdom that rises from the margins, the sort of wisdom that rarely earns invitations to podiums or panel discussions. It comes
Let go, or get dragged. There comes a moment when your loyalty to others can’t come at the expense of your loyalty to your own
Every time a state social worker has to step into a family’s private life, that’s on us. Each time taxpayers carry the cost of caring
Those of us learning to live as recovering orphans often ache to prove that our lives have meaning. We hustle to be seen, to achieve,
Those of us struggling with an antagonizing orphan spirit have a strong need to be needed. We hopelessly want to be wanted. So, we will
Sometimes it’s not possible to keep a child with their family, and that is certainly a tragedy. Maybe it’s the worst of tragedies. Regardless, before
Here’s an inconvenient truth: Many of the institutions charged with the care and protection of our future — our children — are little more than
Do children belong to their parents or to their communities? Are children citizens of a society, or private members of families? How we respond is
Some say poverty is the mother of all social problems. Some say that sin’s the cause, and some say the poor will always be with
Parenting is ministry—arguably the greatest of all ministries. Raising God-fearing, compassionate, personally responsible, and character-driven children is one of the highest acts of love and
Children are not raised by programs, governments, or institutions; they are raised by two parents who are fervently—perhaps even irrationally—devoted to their children’s well-being. While
When I was a kid, silence was always welcome but rarely lasted long, and it was almost always interrupted by conflict. Quiet meant somebody was
The government kept track of us on paper. Case files, intake forms, placement reports — a trail of our childhoods that could fill a filing
An empty chair invites belonging. I used to be the one who filled the empty chair. At the Balls’ house (my foster parents), I filled
When you grow up in foster care, you learn the language of doors. Front doors that open with casseroles and smiles. Bedroom doors that close
Morning has always been a cautious mercy to me. The light comes slowly, like it’s checking first to see if it’s safe to shine. I
Our culture obsesses over identity—labels, categories, and tribes—but the orphan heart isn’t looking for a label; it’s looking for home. Only in Christ do we find a secure and unshakable identity.
The Power of Taking Responsibility for Your Actions Here’s a life lesson that can truly transform your future. It’s not pleasant, incredibly challenging, and often
Envy is an ugly sin—perhaps the ugliest of them all. It’s a quiet destroyer, turning gratitude into resentment and admiration into bitterness. Maybe that’s why
America has faced threats before. We survived the Civil War, the Great Depression, and the rise of Fascism. Time and again, our nation has overcome
Children raised in chaotic homes often struggle with peace and stability as adults.
Both girls and boys experience distress when their parents divorce, but they often express it in very different ways. Girls tend to internalize their unhappiness,
Competence—knowing that you can handle a situation effectively—develops in children when we intentionally focus on their strengths. This doesn’t mean ignoring their weaknesses; it means
Robert Spector once said, “If I had Solomon’s wisdom, possessed all the power of Atlas, and moved with Mercury’s swiftness, I’d still find a way
I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because we’ve reached a saturation point in our society, but I find myself agreeing with
The goal of many people is to live “the good life.” What that means is defined by their own expectations. It may involve a certain
Death is a gift. Mortality is a blessing. Christians believe in life. Scriptures teach us to choose life, value, and love life. Death, we’re taught,
It’s so hard because selfless love is counter to both our culture and our natures. Of the four types of love (affection, friendship, erotic, and agape) agape is the only type that is selfless.
There’s a universal cultural norm. It’s seen in folk tales and mythology in unrelated social settings around the world. All people live with a basic
There is no ministry without resources, and in ministry, there are no resources without commitment. Resources don’t simply appear out of thin air—commitment always comes
More than half of marriages don’t work today because there’s a misconception – an ignorance – about what love is. The complexity of love can’t
Why is change so hard to implement? Beyond the fear of loss, there are at least two other key reasons. First, change often leads to
There’s a difference between interest and commitment. I met a couple who told me it had always been their dream to start a home for
I grew up in nearly 40 different places, so change was my normal. While it’s human nature to gravitate toward stability and find security in
The fear of change can kill a church or ministry. Like it or not, change will happen. Accept it or not, change will happen. Plan
I recently attended a meeting where leaders from businesses, nonprofits, churches, and government gathered to grapple with the significant changes affecting their community. Declining revenues,
Ever thought about the difference between anything and everything? We can do anything, but we can’t do everything. There’s a big difference, isn’t there? God
There’s big money in addressing social problems these days, and “helping” troubled and needy children has become one of the most lucrative. Endless government subsidies
In the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus teaches a profound lesson about the relationship between charity and justice. The charitable act in this story
For those of us who desire to serve and lead others, we must make sure we have a certain level of healing and wholeness. If
Since who we are dictates what we see and think, we can’t always trust our perceptions. How things look, and how things feel, is not
When it comes to conflict, leaders should not sweat the small things. With this in mind, a leader should consider two things. First, have
Since who we are dictates what we see and think, we can’t always trust our perceptions. How things look, and how things feel, is not
We all have critics and enemies. As we deal with them, bear in mind that our enemies will also be our critics, but our critics
I spent three summers as a counselor. I learned a lot there about ministry – how to serve and how to lead. I’ll always remember
Someone once said, “There is nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning won’t aggravate.” It’s funny because it’s true. Raising teenagers can be a huge challenge.
A parent of an eight-year-old recently wanted to know at what age she should have “the talk.” I believe it’s never too early to have
What’s the secret to keeping teens out of trouble? Short answer – keep them busy. Let teenagers pursue their interests, as many as they want,
As they get older, teenagers should have more freedoms and fewer limits. However, there should always be some. The truth is they crave it because
The key to raising teenagers is to start when they’re small children. If parents develop and maintain a caring, trusting, relationship when they’re small, it’s
Since my children are grown and gone, I find myself being more introspective about the past and how I raised them. A poem by A.
Ever made a snap decision? Sure, we all have, and we’ve all regretted it too. We are prone to react quickly to an agitating situation
Let’s be honest for a moment: To everyone else, we are what we pretend to be. In public, we are something other than what we
Life is one long hard lesson in humility. Our life is a sermon on the foolishness of this world. Our birth is the preface. Our
We know for children to be healthy there are certain needs – beyond the basics of food and shelter – which must be met, but
When it comes to the welfare of children, we seem to have lost all common sense. Political correctness, zero tolerance, volumes of mind numbing and
Whether it’s in the arena of politics, economics, education, or jurisprudence, our culture seems to be losing all ability to make simple decisions. It appears
Can we have individual liberty and social equality? That’s the question at the heart of our national debate regarding capitalism and socialism. We’re being asked
One of the goals of a mature adult is to find balance in all aspects of life. It’s difficult to balance our emotions, but there
It’s God’s will for us to love. It’s not just a command but it’s His will that we love. Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade
I’ve spent time in the company of individuals who have lived a very long time. Some of them are precious souls, gifts to the world,
If two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary. If two business partners agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.
Materialism has been a mounting problem since the 1950’s, but because of technology, it has reached new heights of concern. Today’s children have more things
Waiting for resources to materialize before doing something God called you to do, is the surest way to accomplish nothing. Commitment requires faith, and faith is
If you can’t fix it, make it normal. That has become the default philosophy in America. Divorce, pornography, unwed parenthood, smoking dope, whatever, it doesn’t
Far too many churches and nonprofits exist today that serve a model of service instead of a mission to service. Consider the mission language of your
You don’t have to win to be successful. You don’t even have to succeed to be successful. You only have to be faithful. Dear God
I’m convinced that all problems – whether personal or corporate – are theological in nature. Change what people believe about God, the world, themselves, and
Millions suffer from a chronic and sometimes debilitating condition. It affects every ethnic group, income level, and age. This condition is negatively affecting their psychological
I’m suspicious of purity. I doubt anything that presents itself as pure. My theology informs me that, outside of Heaven, there’s no perfection – no
All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love. Love is all you need. Great song. Who doesn’t like
We Americans are all about more: more house, more car, more food, more money—more of everything. We’ve always wanted more: more land for expansion, more
Perception matters. It really does. As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Whether you like it or
Imagine what would happen if our entire society lived by the Golden Rule. Individuals, neighborhoods, corporations, political parties—everyone, everywhere—treating others the way they themselves would
We all have emotional baggage. I do. You do. We all do. Today is the perfect time to begin unpacking that baggage and start the
It’s time to end the drama. You know what I’m talking about—it’s time to stop stirring things up. I’m referring to the psychic vampires in
The end of the caterpillar is the beginning of the butterfly. Through this beautiful and awe-inspiring transformation, nature teaches us a profound truth: everything changes.
Good people are compassionate. Sympathy naturally arises from those who are moral, principled, and who live by the golden rule. However, acts of compassion can
President John F. Kennedy once said, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” It’s so true. Mindless conformity is a prison.
Are you happy with your life? Did you wake up today realizing you’re not where you want to be, or doing what you want to
There are two developmental tasks we humans must master if we’re to ever have full and meaningful lives. At first these two things seem mutually
Pain is generally considered a problem – a nuisance at best and a nemesis at worse. Pain hurts. It’s a distraction, a discomfort, and sometimes
Bad things happen, even to good people. The scriptures tell us it rains on the just and the unjust alike. Live long enough and you’ll
Which is better, being kind or being right? We can’t always maximize both virtues at the same time; it’s how individuals respond in those moments
People who are hurting inside often take their pain out on innocent others who had nothing to do with causing it. They may have anger,
Don’t punish a child for doing childish things. I’m in no way suggesting you don’t discipline your children. Certainly not. Children need discipline in order
Who’s in charge of your life? Answer – you. Well, that’s supposed to be the answer. Unfortunately for many, it’s not. They’ve lost control of
Our values have shifted dramatically over the past decades. The independent, hard-working pioneers who built this nation—without reliance on government assistance—have been replaced by individuals
Fashion and beauty writer, Sabrina Alexis introduced me to the concept of the Mad House Rule. Imagine, while walking down the street, you see a
None of us like to get criticism, but get it we do. One way to deal with criticism is to do your best to avoid
Do you believe in soul-mates? A study at the University of Virginia shows those who believe in soul-mates are 150% more likely to end up
Change – creatures of habit avoid it. Lovers of routine hate it. Protectors of tradition fear it. Second only to the fear of failure, is
Admit it parents. Just admit it. It could be the best thing you ever do for your children. When you’re wrong, admit it. When you
His foster family called him Robbie, his relatives knew him as Bobby, and legally, he was Robert. He endured a childhood marked by deep generational poverty, abuse, and neglect. As an adult, he dedicated his career to understanding and transforming these experiences for other children. His journey has given him a compassionate and comprehensive, 360-degree perspective on orphan work—what the system refers to as child welfare.
